Spelling Struggles With an ADHD Child
Do you have a child that has ADHD and struggles with spelling? I have one of those, too. Did you know that is a common side effect of ADHD? I didn’t realize this until my son was in his older grades in school. It would have been so nice and saved me so many hours if I had known this when he was in elementary school.
When my son was in elementary school, he had weekly spelling tests. The teacher would send home the words for the week on Monday, and we would practice them until his test on Friday. On Monday, I would have him go over his words with me. I would make sure he could read them and then have him write them down.
For the rest of the week, I would take a practice spelling test to see which words he could spell and which words he needed to work on. He always had words that he needed to work on. I would go over the words he needed help with, and then I would have him write them down three times. I felt that as the week went on, he would or should be able to improve on the practice spelling test. This, however, did not happen.
He would either get the same words wrong every day, or he would get words that he spelled right at the beginning of the week and then start spelling them wrong. We would talk about a word over and over again. I would have him write it down so many times. He could spell a word he got wrong, but if you asked him the next day, he couldn’t remember how to spell it. I could have him write it down a hundred times (I never actually did this), and he would still get it wrong.
At that time, it was the most frustrating thing in the world. We went over it so many times. Why can you not remember how to spell it? I would get so frustrated at him. I would ask him why he couldn’t remember how to spell that word. We went over it so many times. His response always was, “I don’t know.” I sometimes would get so frustrated that I had to have my husband help him with it.
My son was my firstborn, so I was a first-time young mother. Like most parents, I wanted my child to succeed at school. We would go over the words many times, and I would try many different strategies. Some worked and some didn’t. I will share those strategies that helped a little below.
Here is what was very strange to me. I would bring it up to his teacher every year, asking what I could do to help him with his spelling. Every teacher told me not to worry about it because we have spell checkers nowadays and have him do his best. Of course, I didn’t like this response, so I would continue pushing him to improve his spelling. I thought he would improve if we just kept working on it. This, however, did not happen. He never really got any better at spelling.
I found out years later that spelling is incredibly hard for children with ADHD. When I found this out, I felt horrible. All the time, energy, and frustration were wasted on both ends. If I had known this earlier, I would not have worried about it so much. I wouldn’t have made my son practice spelling so much or had him write his words down so much.
My son is now 17 years old. He can spell better than he used to, but he still has difficulty spelling, which is okay. This is just one of the challenges he has had in his life, and he has to work with it. He is still a great student despite not being able to spell well. He is incredibly smart and has such big goals for his future. If I had known how great he would have turned out, his younger school years would have been so different.
So I hope that this article helps some of you younger mothers or fathers. If your child struggles with spelling, they can and will still be great students. Please give them a little slack on their spelling.
Here are some ideas on how to make spelling a little more interesting for them and you!
- Practice on a small whiteboard with different color markers.
- Get a small tray, put some sugar or sand in it, and have them practice spelling the words with their finger.
- Get some window markers that they can use to write on a window or a mirror.
- Bath crayons are a fun option that they can use to write on the side of the tub.
- You can use anything with letters, such as blocks or magnets.
I hope that some of these ideas help your child with their spelling.
Do any of you have a child struggling with spelling? I would love to hear from you. What ideas do you have for helping your child with spelling? Please share your ideas!
3 Summer Rules for Our Summer Vacation – Lessons Learned
Welcome back. As you can only guess, we had one crazy summer. I didn’t even have time to write a single article, either because we were busy or I was tired from being busy. I hope to pick up where I left off, but please be patient because I am still learning how to do this.
I wrote an article earlier this summer, 3 Summer Rules for Our Summer Vacation, about the rules we would have for the summer. That was in early June. Today, I thought I would update you on how we did with those rules and the lessons we learned over the summer.
We did excellent following our summer rules for the first week or so. After that, life got in the way, and xthings just went downhill. I would say that halfway through June, we started only doing about half of the summer rules. We would get up, get dressed, and have breakfast. We would do a chore or two about every other day.
July is when we usually take our family’s summer vacation. This year was no exception. In about three weeks, we went on our family vacation to Alaska, had a family reunion trip to Bear Lake, my daughter went on a camping trip with a young women’s group, and I went on my girls’ weekend with my sisters and mom. I previously wrote about my family’s girls’ weekends in Discover the Magic of a Girls’ Weekend.
With all that going on, we hardly had enough time to get up and dressed, let alone do any chores. Sure, we would do basic stuff. I would have time to clean the kitchen and do the dishes. I would do laundry when I could, but most of the time, we didn’t have time to fold it or put it away. I would vacuum every once in a while, but not every day like before.
By the time we got to August, we were trying to recover from our busy July and survive until school started again. The children hardly did a single chore. At this point, the kids were doing whatever they wanted so I could get stuff done myself. It sounds horrible, but they were running around being kids, hanging with friends, and enjoying the last few weeks of summer. I was okay with it.
Of course, our chaos and recovery made the house go downhill pretty quickly. We got very behind on our laundry from our trips, and cleaning was almost nonexistent.
Luckily, the weekend before school started, we had nothing. I mean nothing. There were no soccer, dance, band, or family gatherings. I bet you can guess what I made my family do that weekend. We spent the weekend putting our house back in order. Did the kids love that their last weekend was spent cleaning? Absolutely not! It needed to be done, so I had them help me anyway!!! I am a mean mom, I know!
What are my takeaways from our three summer rules? There are a few; here they are.
- It was a good idea, in theory!
- Did I have good intentions? Yes!
- We tried, but life got in the way. That is okay.
- Did we still have a good summer? Yes, we did!
- Did we fail in our summer rules? Yes, we failed horribly.
Yes, we failed horribly, but do you know what? I am okay with that. We tried something new, and it didn’t work. I have learned from this summer, and I will make adjustments for next summer. It was a good lesson for the children that it didn’t work out as planned, but it was still a great summer. Failure is not the end. All we can do is make adjustments and always try again.
Now that school is back in, it is an excellent time to get back on schedule. Keep following me for our back-to-school schedule and family rules!
How did you do this summer? Did you follow any summer rules that you could keep or not keep? I would love to hear how everyone’s summer went.
3 Summer Rules for Our Summer Vacation
I don’t know about other families, but in our family, my kids think that summer vacation equals laziness and that they don’t have to do anything. I am unsure where they picked up on that idea, but I want to break them of that habit this summer. To help me break this habit, I have created rules and chores they must follow before being on electronics or hanging out with friends. These include getting ready and doing personal and other chores around the house.
They need more structure to be more productive this summer than in past summers. They are way past old enough to help me keep the house clean. They should have started helping me with the house years ago. I know you are probably asking why I have never had them help me around the house more, and the simple answer is I don’t know.
After school ended, I sat my children down, and we discussed what I was expecting of them this summer break. I explained to them that I would love to do some fun activities, but I can only do that if we keep the house somewhat clean. I also explained that I didn’t want my summer to be spent picking up after them.
Here are the new rules.
GET READY FOR THE DAY IN THE MORNING
Usually, the kids like to be pretty slow in the mornings, which is fine with me to a degree. I don’t want it to be lunchtime before they get ready for the day. I am fine with them chilling for a little bit when they get up, but I would like them to get ready for the day shortly after that.
Getting ready for the day includes:
- Having Breakfast
- Getting Dressed (my kids usually shower at night, but if they don’t, this would include them showering in the morning).
- Brushing Teeth
- Doing Hair (my girls hate this one). I don’t care if they do their hair, just as long as it is brushed and looks like they fixed it.
COMPLETE EVERYDAY CHORES
I would like them to do their daily chores after they get ready. I have found out that if they don’t do their chores in the morning, they will never get the chores done. I have them do two different chores. There are the everyday chores that they are expected to get done every day. Then, there are the chores that can change daily or that I need help with.
- Picking up their room
- Making their bed
- Putting dirty clothes in the hamper
- Vacuuming their room if it needs it
- Picking up the bathroom
COMPLETE HOUSEHOLD CHORES
After they complete their daily chores, I will usually have one or two chores I need them to complete around the house to help me out. These can include things like:
- Loading/unloading dishwasher
- Vacuuming
- Dusting
- Laundry
- Picking up the living room/craft room
- Cleaning out the car
This list of chores changes daily, depending on what I need help with. I try not to have too many chores because no one wants to spend their whole day cleaning. I don’t even want to do that as an adult, so I can’t expect my kids to clean all day. I hope they can finish this all in the morning, and we can play by lunchtime!
I would like all of their chores done before lunch. After lunch, they can have free time. We will go to the pool or the park. Sometimes, we have planned activities. This is why I would like them to get their chores done early. I like to have fun with my kids, but keeping the house in order is important to me. I try to balance them both.
CHALLENGES WE FACE IN OUR HOUSE
I must confess I always start the summers well with all these rules and high expectations. I usually am very strict about it for about the first two weeks, and then I slowly get less and less strict as the summer goes on. I am hoping these rules are easy enough that we can last a little longer than a few weeks. Of course, it will last all summer in my perfect world, but I know that will never happen. I hope they pick up a few skills that will continue into the school year.
You must also keep in mind that every child is different. My son has ADHD and is very unorganized. He also gets distracted very easily. I can’t ask him to go clean his room. It will never get done. I have to ask him to do small tasks.
I can ask one of my daughters to go clean her room, and she will be able to get most of it cleaned on her own without my help. I usually help her with the last bit, like throwing the trash away or reminding her to vacuum.
My youngest does not like to clean at all. She will usually throw a tantrum for a while before she even starts cleaning. Once she realizes I won’t back down and she still has to clean, I usually have to be in the room to keep her on track.
I am sure your children have different personalities and need to be motivated differently, just as my children do. Keep that in mind when you are coming up with your own rules or chores.
Do you have rules like this for the summer? I hope some of these ideas help you stay a little sane this summer while your children are home. I would love to hear your ideas on what you have your children do in the summer to help around the house. Please leave me a comment. For now, Happy Summer!
Our Son’s Challenges With Hyperfixation
One of the challenges that our son, who has inattentive ADHD, deals with is hyperfixation. In this blog post, I want to help you understand what hyperfixation is and what challenges our son and family face.
What is Hyperfixation?
Hyperfixation is best defined as an intense or prolonged interest in or an obsession with an activity, subject, or person. Simply put, a person who experiences hyperfixation has their attention completely absorbed and consumed by a particular activity or interest for an excessive or unhealthy amount of time.
There are times where see see this behavior, or intense focus or obsession with an activity in our son. Our son tends to hyperfixate on video games. He will completely immerse and lose himself in a video game for hours on end. He tends to ignore or delay everything he needs to do when he starts hyperfixating and playing video games, and sometimes it takes a major effort to break him out of that hyperfixation. He has gotten better in recent years in many respects, but he still has his moments where we see him hyperfixate.
Some common characteristics of hyperfixation that can manifest in many different situations are:
- A person will begin a task and suddenly realize many hours have passed.
- A person may ignore or not respond to others, making it extremely difficult to communicate with them and get their attention.
- A person will be unaware of what is happening around them and may tune out things like people talking, the weather, and the time.
- A person may ignore and/or delay their personal needs, such as eating or sleeping because they’re so focused on the task at hand.
- A person may find that they have a hard time stopping or switching to a different activity.
Hyperfixation can and will manifest itself differently from one person to another. Some get completely wrapped up in a hobby, while others engage in random activities like watching TV or scrolling through Pinterest.
Benefits of Hyperfixation
Wait, there are benefits and positive side effects to hyperfixation? Yes, there are many things can prove to be a benefit to those who deal with hyperfixation. These benefits of hyperfixation are only useful when focused on something productive.
1. Intense Focus
Those who have hyperfixation undergo a state of intense focus on their task or subject at hand. When this subject is positive, the attention given to it and only it can lead to doing things that no one else can do.
When our son has focus, he can accomplish anything. It is amazing to see when he gets so wrapped up in a subject what he’s able to learn and do. I’m constantly in awe about what he can accomplish when he gains focus and puts his effort into it.
2. Boundless Energy
Those who have hyperfixation tend to disregard their bodies signs for fatigue or tiredness. The don’t get bored, but rather they just keep going and going.
When our son hyperfixates he is just like this. It doesn’t matter what time it is, or how tired he may be, he just keeps going.
3. High Productivity
People who have hyperfixation can get a lot done in a little amount of time with no distractions, an intense focus, and boundless energy.
Negative Symptoms of Hyperfixation
There are also a lot of downsides and negative symptoms of hyperfixation. Some of these negative symptoms can lead to stress, grief, and problems not only for the person who is hyperfixating, but also for those who are trying to interact with them.
1. Not Listening
A common problem of hyperfixation is that a person will just not listen. Regardless of what you’re trying to say to them they end up completely ignore you. What’s really going on is that a person likely doesn’t even hear you. because they’re so focused on what they’re doing that they simply tune out everything else that’s going on around them.
2. Distracted
Even when a person is physically present, those who hyperfixate may tend to seem distracted or distant. This can easily be thought of as going through the motions but they’re in a completely different world.
3. Unable to Pay Attention
A person who hyperfixates may seem like they’re paying attention and listening to what you’re saying, but when you’re done talking to them, they don’t remember a thing you said.
4. Not Doing Chores / Essential Tasks
A person who hyperfixates will tend to put a lower priority on chores and tasks that need to be completed because it doesn’t align with their interests. This can be ignoring things like washing and folding laundry, to not wanting to bathe and shower.
5. Being Late / Making Others Wait
Because a person who hyperfixates gets so caught up in the activity their doing or focused on, when it’s time for them to stop and transition to something else, it becomes very hard to break out of the activity. People who struggle with this can say things like, “just five more minutes.”
My Son Has Inattentive ADHD
My son has Inattentive ADHD. Inattentive ADHD is a subtype of ADHD in which a person has a hard time focusing and paying attention, and doesn’t show the hyperactive behavior normal associated with ADHD. As I have come to understand my son and his diagnosis, I see that often kids with this type of ADHD are overlooked because they’re not hyperactive or causing disruptions.
One of my goals in writing this blog is to share the experience of what our family goes through with ADHD. I’ve written a lot about tactile defensiveness already, and today, I wanted to focus on ADHD. I’ll be honest, I don’t know where to begin with this topic. I feel like it is such a vast topic. I also know there are many of you that are dealing with the same challenges that I am. I don’t claim to be a professional on dealing with ADHD, but I’ve learned a lot in our challenges that I want to share. Everything I write about ADHD is from my own experiences working with my son.
Uncovering His ADHD Diagnosis
My son started showing signs that something was off in the first grade. Since he was our first child, we didn’t notice anything different. We didn’t think anything was wrong until his first grade teacher mentioned that he had a hard time following directions. We took it under advisement and continued to watch him, but we didn’t do anything that year because I still wasn’t sure if he was different from his peers.
In second grade, his teacher mentioned something about his ability to follow directions to us again, and that is when we decided that we needed to take him to the doctor to have him tested. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in second grade. We had a lot of help from his teacher that year, and she was very supportive and we loved her for it!
When he’s unable to focus, you can think of it as he has a million thoughts running through his mind at once, and each one takes his mind on a different track of thought. He may be able to maintain focus for bit, but there are a lot of other thoughts competing for his attention.
After he was diagnosed, it was apparent to my husband and I that he needed a little help to be able to focus in school so we decided that we would put him on medication. You can read our experience on Should You Medicate Your Child for ADHD?
It has been a long journey over the years. We have been through a lot of challenges with him. There has also been some good times as well. Even through all the challenges I wouldn’t change it for anything.
There are so many challenges and experiences that come with an ADHD diagnosis. I am planning to break down a lot of the things I have learned along the way, and things I struggle with. To continue to read about our experiences with ADHD, please subscribe below.
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I would also love to hear from any one that is has a child that has ADHD and how you have managed it. Please, come on this journey with me!
