Family
A place for posts about our family, our challenges, successes, and everything we do and enjoy. We hope to connect with others who face the same challenges we do and want people to see that they're not alone, that everyone doesn't live perfectly, and that we are all perfectly imperfect.
A Mother’s Experience With Tactile Defensiveness
I am sure there are some of you reading this who are wondering what tactile defensiveness is. It is a term used to describe someone very sensitive to touch. As a result, someone who experiences tactile defensiveness is much more sensitive to touch than usual.
Our son has been diagnosed with tactile defensiveness. He received his diagnosis when he was 18 months old. As parents, we became concerned that he wasn’t walking or trying to walk. It also concerned us that he would pull his feet up to avoid standing when we would try and have him stand up on our laps. Also, when we would try and have him stand up on the ground, he would do the same thing. He would never let the bottom of his feet touch anything and do everything he could to avoid it!
My husband and I asked our family doctor about our concerns, and he referred us to a physical therapist. When we went to the physical therapist, our son was diagnosed five minutes into our appointment. It was extremely quick. It surprised me, but the therapist immediately knew our son’s diagnosis as he watched our son’s behavior! Our son avoided physical contact because of how things felt on his skin. The therapist explained it like this to me. He said that when you cut your fingernails too short, the skin under the nail gets exposed, and it feels weird. He said that is the feeling my son has all over his body.
After I learned what it was, we realized that there were signs of it from the day he was born. He would always cry whenever we would change his diaper. He would also cry and scream whenever we bathed him, and I would rub lotion on him. He hated that.
He also didn’t like to touch things with his hands. He didn’t want to touch anything slimy or gooey. We would have him play with shaving cream or pudding with his fingers. He hated this and didn’t do very well with this one.
He was never a great eater either. When he got a little older, maybe age two or two and a half, we realized that he had tactile defensiveness in his mouth. He hated baby food. He hated fruit or veggies. He liked more solid things, like chicken nuggets or quesadillas. His eating to this day, ten years later, is still our biggest challenge. His list of foods that he will eat is minimal. And when he does eat, he picks at things and puts a small amount of food in his mouth. Eating for him is a chore. I am always trying to find something that he will eat, and I get frustrated when he doesn’t like most things I make.
Tactile defensiveness is something our son will have to deal with his entire life. He has just learned to live with most of the things he doesn’t like to touch. Some things will always be a challenge for him, mainly his eating. Now that he is getting older, there are just simple things that you wouldn’t think about, like face wash. Just washing his face is a struggle. We quickly learned that he could not use the foaming face wash! There are just so many tiny things that pop up as he gets older that we work through. He is a great kid and works through everything so well.
So, where are all my people out there who have someone with tactile defensiveness in their lives? I would love to hear from you.
About Our Family
We are a perfectly imperfect family. This phrase describes our family perfectly. We have our ups and downs, our good times and bad, but we’re always together and working to be the best family we can be. Are we perfect? No, but at the same time, I think we’re close.
A Little About Each Of Us
My name is Brynn. I am a stay-at-home mom. I am an introvert and have recently discovered that I am highly sensitive. I love being at home. My favorite hobbies are reading, cooking, watching movies, puzzles, and playing games with my family.
My husband, Drew, works in tech; he’s a major geek and works from home. He has worked from home since our firstborn was about six months old. Having a husband who works from home has its ups and downs. Without his computer knowledge, I would never have been able to put this blog together.
Our oldest child, a son, was born in 2007. He is obsessed with playing video games. When we can pull him away from his video games, he likes to play his drums, play video games, and golf when his dad can get him to agree to go. He has had his fair share of challenges. When he was 18 months old, he was diagnosed with tactile defensiveness. He is susceptible to touch. When he was in second grade, he was also diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive Subtype.
Our middle child, a daughter, was born in 2011. She is our tomboy and our athlete. She loves soccer. Her passion, though, is art. She loves to draw and make crafts out of anything that she can find. She is a social butterfly. She loves being around people and has so many friends it is hard to keep up with them all. She is the opposite of me.
Our last child, a daughter, was born in 2014. She is our spitfire. She has so much energy and so much personality that she is the one that keeps us laughing. She is the complete opposite of her sister. She is very much a girly girl. She loves dresses and loves having her hair always done fancy. I am not very good at fancy hair, and she hates that. She loves to dance. She is dancing all the time, even in the grocery store!
Why Did We Create PerfectlyImperfectFamily.com?
As I get asked this question frequently, I created a post detailing why I decided to create and start writing on Perfectly Imperfect Family.com. You can read more about it on Why Did I Create Perfectly Imperfect Family.com?
